If you buy ME sushi, I will tell you a story.

I'm bringing sexy back

I'm bringing sexy back

Sexy back 1.jpg

“Not a chance. I’m not going,” My Mom was trying to convince me to go to this Christian woman hang out thing. “What am I going to talk to them about?” I wasn’t feeling it. At all. My desire to spend an entire afternoon at a glorified tea party talking about kids, hair and prayer (not that any of these things are bad things, just…) was minus 20. My impression of Christian women was two things: narrow minded and zero fun.  

Four years later and these impressions have shifted radically. I've met loads of Christian women who are so incredible I barely believe they are real human beings. On occasion, though, I have had an experience which has made me want to yell: "you're ruining it for all of us!" 

One of those was a New Year's Eve Party my best friend and I attended (dressed as ninjas). We had recently finished a year of volunteering with our church and were well known for having a good time .

The party was fun. We dominated the dance floor- put the two of us and a beat in the same room and it’s a guaranteed good time. Trust me. (We’ve been found on bar counters, street corners, house tables...) I woke up from that New Year's Party the next day and my thighs were stiff, my feet were West African and I was ok with waiting a whole year before I did that again - #partysuccess. 

This is where the story gets interesting, somehow it got back to us that someone at the event had told one of our leaders at church: “Kelsey and Fran were dancing inappropriately”. 

“Are you serious?” was my reaction when I heard. We were having fun. That was it. Not that I felt any need to justify my actions. The amount of emotional energy I expend on those kind of people is zero.

Still, it reminded me that the church seems to get its back up when it comes to anything that spells s-e-x. And for some reason I had been against the Christian Women's event the idea, “have fun but don’t have too much fun”, mindset still lurks like a lazy crocodile in many mindsets. 

It’s time to bring sexy back. There is nothing wrong with being fun, in the right way. Can we take the Christian girl, timid as a coo-ing dove with her leather bible bookmark and her flowing skirt off the table? Please? Can we shake off the “oh if you believe in Jesus, don’t flirt, look good or move your hips incase you might maybe turn a boy on” weird stuff off the table? Please. 

The hottest women I know are Christian. Know why? They are hot in all the right ways. They stand for something, they are more than just a pretty face, they are doing big, bold and brave things with their lives AND they are comfortable with their sexuality. Yes, that's right- package deal. 

SO, what’s THE REAL KIND OF hot and what’s not?

  • Being kind: hot
  • Using tricks or manipulation to get guy’s attention: nothot
  • Selecting boundaries because you have thought it through: hot
  • Going with boundaries because someone somewhere made a rule: nothot 
  • Working what you got: hot
  • Moaning about your body all the time: nothot
  • Treating choices with respect: hot
  • Judging people on their choices: nothot
  • Embracing your sensuality: hot
  • Cutting off your sensuality: nothot 
  • Independence: hot
  • Clingy: nothot
  • Interesting: hot
  • Boring: nothot
  • Has substance and values: hot
  • Stuck in a religious bubble: nothot
  • Has lots of things she enjoys: hot
  • Attention seeking: nothot
  • An inner strength and wisdom: hot
  • Drama, demands and immaturity: nothot 

Want to meet some of the real life ladies in my world who are KILLER?
Bet you do: 


I met Siba and I I found her mesmerising. She is warm and bubbly. She’s famous, but you’d never know because she treats you like you are worth a million dollars. She’s a local African girl with a passion for cooking and a work ethic who made it big. She told me on our first meeting I had beautiful eyes, and I floated for the rest of my day. 

Watch Siba's story:


I sit next to Eden at work. She makes me popcorn when I moan about being hungry (constantly). People are drawn to her, she’s pretty, can sing and has style which doesn’t hurt, but she’s also genuine and full of life. Have you ever had that feeling where you know you are going to be friends with someone before you really even know them? With Eden, it was like that.

Watch Eden on The Voice South Africa:


Kelsey likes to say, “God loves the mischievous ones more”. The truth is, Kelsey likes the mischievous ones more and God loves everyone. When I met Kelsey she was a 19 year old train wreck (her words) with a bounding compassion which lead to her starting an NGO. She has a brave heart and a naughty sense of humour. Qualities I like, and I keep coming back for more. 

Watch Kelsey talk about Uphold (her NGO):

Kelsey's NGO: http://www.upholdglobal.com/
Kelsey's blog: http://kelseylindell.com/

All three, gorgeous. Right? Amazing. Hot. Fun. Slaying. Women Crush Alert.

Let’s take sexy back from Miley pretending to give blow jobs on stage, swinging naked on a wrecking ball licking sledge hammers and twerking in a unicorn onesie. Like, for real. I’ll never apologize for colouring outside the lines, living life, or ignoring outdated and unhealthy Christian stereotypes. But I’ll also always stand for fun, feminity with dignity and a life which leaves a positive impact on the planet. How about you?

If you liked this post you may like this one too: Me, God, boys and a piece of paper.
Or the little Ebook I put together: Little Known Lessons From My Dating Life

Oh you want to save Africa? That’s cute

Oh you want to save Africa? That’s cute

You don’t need to share my faith to be my friend

You don’t need to share my faith to be my friend